As a youngster, I spent my time chasing after an education and dreaming about the person I’d become as an adult. I wanted to rip apart any thing that was ‘traditional’ and ran from ‘normal’. Somewhere in the middle of my 20’s, I began to shift my thoughts from myself and my progress to my future generations. Traditions started to look good. In my early 30’s, I was marked with the passing of my brother. Every bit of immaturity or unbelief was exposed during that time, and it helped to push my journey to tend to my generations.
When I was on a Fellowship of the Sword – Heartquest event in the spring of 2010, I was able to spend a month intentionally spending time with the Lord. The most important words that were laid on my heart were to “tend to my generations”. I had been thinking about quitting my job as a computer monkey and pulling my kids from Public School to home school them. I did pull the kids out and we started homeschooling August 2010. In September 2010, my brother died. That year was a radical shift in our lives!
I can remember the day my brother died. I was fairly solid in my faith in God and I thought I had everything figured out. Prior to that day, my suffering usually came from the bottom of a coffee creamer bottle. UGH! How could I possibly live when I couldn’t drink what I wanted at the moment I wanted it. Post that day, I wanted my suffering to be the bottom of a coffee creamer bottle. I wanted the last drop of the sweetened liquid to sting, but after that day, it just didn’t matter. Every bit of me was shaken apart.
My brother had been sick for a long time with multiple different things and his sweet body was just worn out. He had gotten so sick that his lungs could no long supply enough oxygen to his body on their own. He was put on life support. There came a day that we had to make a choice to let him go. His oxygen stats kept dropping no matter how much oxygen they gave him. His body was done.
When he was passing, I fully expected something supernatural to happen. A flash of light, an angel swooping into the room to take him away, a full body ghost lifting from his body and floating towards the ceiling, something!!! But there was nothing. Since he was on life support before I could fly in, there were no final conversations to say “last time” things or for him to give final instructions. Rather uneventfully, his lips turned blue and he left this life.
Before that day, I knew in my head that life was short. Death is never in short supply. But after my brother left my life, I knew in every part of my being that my time on earth was limited. I learned how final and cold death is. There was nothing supernatural about his death and there were no messages from beyond the grave. Just no more phone calls and no more funny jokes. The families just did their best to make life continue.
So what’s next? Life is short and once we’re dead, there’s no more words. Unless we leave them NOW on purpose.
This book that my girls and I are writing together will be finished because of this dream to leave words behind. I want my grandchildren’s children to hold a piece of this life in their imaginations. With this blog, I can leave words for my girls and maybe tend to their hearts or their children’s hearts long after I have departed.
Tammy Kling keeps posting thoughts about how “Words are Currency” and I agree with her. I think that currency that can be spent by the generations. Currency that can be buried and dug up hundreds of years from now and regarded as precious. The currency of words can help someone today!
Words can be a light-hearted adventure shared to encourage or they can lay the foundation of truth. Take time to write out who you are and what’s important to you. Leave something to stir the imaginations of those who are coming after us. Inspire YOUR generations and don’t let your life just slip into death.